I woke up with a big question mark inside… I wish I could say it was a wondering question mark, curious curly and cute… but no. This question mark was bold and lonesome, Arial Black-stark and in my face.
Actually, it wasn’t until I paused and turned toward what was there that I even noticed that it was a question mark. Before that? Queasy uneasy vague discomfort.
Even when what we find upon pausing is not entirely (or at all!) pleasant, there is something relieving about noticing.
Our first response, often, is to turn away from discomfort. We hope it’ll just go away. Maybe we are scared of what it’ll mean. Maybe we think we don’t have time. But ironically, ignoring what is there actually tends to do the opposite of what we want. And when it sees that we have no intention of noticing, discomfort can amp up its volume and pull out all the stops to make us notice.
Sometimes discomfort changes clothes and appears in a different outfit – it’s not uncommon for something like queasy in the tummy to become a kink in the neck or a pain in the ass!
Pausing and turning toward what is going on allows it to change in the way that’s best. Being with something now allows what’s next to unfold.
What if everything hard and uncomfortable in you were simply wanting you to notice? What if instead of turning a blind eye or pushing the hard thing under the rug you turned the gaze of your most loving presence toward it and listened as if to your dearest friend or your most beloved niece in all the world?
What mark is punctuating the page of you today?
Maybe it’s a question mark like mine. Or maybe it’s a period. There are different kinds of periods. Some simply mark space between thoughts. Some are followed by hard returns. Some mark ends of chapters or even books.
Maybe you’ve got yourself a comma in a flowing list of lovely things…
Maybe it’s a playful dash—! Or an unexpected one that interrupts you mid—
Maybe you’ve got yourself some elipses… soft and unhurried like lemonade on a porch swing… Or maybe your elipses are filled with suspense… whatever could come next?!
What’s punctuating the page of you today? I’d love to hear.
I think there is a full stop on my mind with at least a page break after it. It isn’t comfortable, but I can see it and maybe meet it half way.
Ooh! A page break! yessss… know what you mean… I wonder what happens when you meet it halfway… Speaking of page breaks… I could use one right about now… a page break of the fresh air and getting my butt out of this chair kind! Thanks for the inspiration, Miss P. xo
This post was the perfect thing for me to read on this day of never-ending exclamation points.
Not loud exclamation points, mind you. More like frantically stage-whispered exclamation points.
They sound a bit like, “Psst! You’re up! Go! Hurry!”
Oooh, Victoria… I wonder how it went for you today… !!!!!
I had a set of parenthesis this evening after chatting with Person A who told me a story that I said I would not share with Person B (even though I was about to have dinner with Person B!)
See! There they are; this evening’s parenthesis.
Update: Person A called Person B and relayed the story I had been keeping to myself, so the parenthesis are gone and will soon be replaced with zzzz’s…
Mona, your parentheses! Perfect. Sleep tight. xo
I’ve been trying so hard to notice the noticings. Shiva and play my way through life. Pay attention to the things that wink at me. Get my mind and my body to talk to one another. Get things done. Start this, finish that, good lord why haven’t I made that call?! All this punctuation running into itself inside me, like … like… I don’t know what. What happens when question marks, exclamation points, ellipses, commas, colons, semi-colons, em-dashes, en-dashes, asterisks, parentheses, bullets, and brackets all start ricocheting around in me? Do you suppose it would help if I tried to detangle them, calm them down, and attach them to thoughts or feelings or qualities? Maybe if they were anchored TO something, they could rest and find their place in me. But just this moment, I’m not feeling that chaos can be especially useful.
Ah yes, Casey… it feels like lots and loads of punctuation marks all ricocheting around inside you… and you wonder what to do… you’d really like to understand them, it sounds like, but there they are, so many of them… I really hear that you are wanting rest and calm… and you wonder if trying to anchor them TO something would help…
Being with something exactly the way it is can be so helpful (even while I totally get that you want to help this situation!)… what happens when you “sit with” (though it may not literally be sitting) this scene with all the punctuations flying the hell around? Can you notice it exactly the way it is and be with it? And listen to the part of you really wanting calm and rest… of course! If your flying punctuations were mine I’d see if the “anchoring” is happening without my willing it to or am I trying to anchor things because something in me is uncomfortable with the chaos… That distinction makes all the difference… Can you see why I made the Presence potion? Ooof! This stuff can be challenging!
xoxo
oh Heidi, I just love you so much. ((hugs))
Oh Heidi! The gratitude I feel for having you in my life is ENORMOUS! Thanks for getting it! This confused, beautiful, contradictory life we live in…Question marks all over the place and yet each and everyday we come home to ourselves. Home is always there. Us. Our beings. Thank you for making and sharing dear Presence.
xoxo
Beth
Oh Beth, thank you! I love how you said that… question marks all over the place and yet coming home to ourselves every day… Thank you! xo
PS You have a blog. Yay!! I tried leaving a comment, but couldn’t. (I don’t have any of the accounts listed)