I woke up with a big question mark inside… I wish I could say it was a wondering question mark, curious curly and cute… but no. This question mark was bold and lonesome, Arial Black-stark and in my face.
Actually, it wasn’t until I paused and turned toward what was there that I even noticed that it was a question mark. Before that? Queasy uneasy vague discomfort.
Even when what we find upon pausing is not entirely (or at all!) pleasant, there is something relieving about noticing.
Our first response, often, is to turn away from discomfort. We hope it’ll just go away. Maybe we are scared of what it’ll mean. Maybe we think we don’t have time. But ironically, ignoring what is there actually tends to do the opposite of what we want. And when it sees that we have no intention of noticing, discomfort can amp up its volume and pull out all the stops to make us notice.
Sometimes discomfort changes clothes and appears in a different outfit – it’s not uncommon for something like queasy in the tummy to become a kink in the neck or a pain in the ass!
Pausing and turning toward what is going on allows it to change in the way that’s best. Being with something now allows what’s next to unfold.
What if everything hard and uncomfortable in you were simply wanting you to notice? What if instead of turning a blind eye or pushing the hard thing under the rug you turned the gaze of your most loving presence toward it and listened as if to your dearest friend or your most beloved niece in all the world?
What mark is punctuating the page of you today?
Maybe it’s a question mark like mine. Or maybe it’s a period. There are different kinds of periods. Some simply mark space between thoughts. Some are followed by hard returns. Some mark ends of chapters or even books.
Maybe you’ve got yourself a comma in a flowing list of lovely things…
Maybe it’s a playful dash—! Or an unexpected one that interrupts you mid—
Maybe you’ve got yourself some elipses… soft and unhurried like lemonade on a porch swing… Or maybe your elipses are filled with suspense… whatever could come next?!
What’s punctuating the page of you today? I’d love to hear.