3 a.m. cribsheet (for when you can’t sleep because everything is too much)

Things may be hard. So hard they may be waking you up at 3 in the morning. You try to keep sleeping but no: now the soundtrack is going… you know, the  soundtrack  of all the things you suspect are related to how your shoulders feel so tight, not to mention that knot in your belly, or the dull ache between your temples…

It’s too much: too much pressure, too much to do, too much to keep track of, too much noise, too much work, too many messages, too many things… Too much, you think.

Even while it feels like not enough. Not enough time, not enough money, not enough business, not enough lovin’… Not enough, you think.

And you are tired. So tired. If only you could rest, you think. You try to remember when you last sat in the sun and read for an hour. You want to get away… But there’s so much to take care of, you think.

Maybe you have a business. Maybe you have a family. There are people you feel responsible for, or to… Or maybe it’s just you, and maybe that is the thought that wakes you: I am alone, you think.

Oh sweetest heart, come. What I want to tell you is simple, and yet we forget it all the time. I do. (Why do you think I’m writing it to you right now, before I go to bed?!)

Dearest heart,

You do not need to hold yourself up. You do not need to keep it together. The ground, it is strong. And it’s right there under you at 3 in the morning or afternoon. Supporting you. Let the ground hold you. All of you:

Head? Yes.
Butt? For sure.
Neck? Absolutely.
Arms? Ahhhhrms.
Legs? Mmmmm.
Back? The ground has got your back, for sure!

See if you can let yourself be held.

Also, the air? It’s free, my love, free! No need to skimp. Your neck and shoulders will appreciate the rest they get when your breathing is gentle and deep. Also, you might try this if ever you feel yourself anxious and struggling for breath: let yourself be breathed. Notice how air enters and leaves, enters and leaves. Again and again. What a relief.

Oh my love, I know you know all this, you just forget.

Here’s a crib sheet for 3 a.m. Tuck it under you pillow if you want:

Strong ground. Generous, free air.
Let the ground hold you.
Let the air breathe you.

What a relief.

Oh and too (lest you forget)?

You are loved.

What’s that? By whom?

Ahhh… here’s a thought: How ’bout you fall asleep counting loves! (Sheep are so last century). Count people who love you, past present future. People you love, ever… Things you love… Animals… Places…

Sweet dreams, my sweet…

*Kissing your forehead… slipping out quietly*