What’s it like being you today? I wonder if it feels different these days than, say, a year ago today. Here in the States, tomorrow is a big holiday, one in which many people often travel long ways to be with family, whether family by birth, by circumstance, or by choice. And this year, whatever their family situation usually may be, many people are –by circumstance– staying put.

So here we are at home. Our very own now-home whatever and wherever that may be. This year you may not be traveling to be at the home you grew up in. You may not be sitting at a table with the people you consider to be family. Or friends. In fact, you may be sitting at a table just with yourself. Or with the person you’ve been sharing space with, pretty much exclusively, for months and months now.

Are you okay? 

Hear me again as I write it out more slowly: Are you okay? 

If you aren’t sure how to answer that, try this: What happens when you pause for a moment, take a deep breath, and then hear those words somewhere in your middle—think chest, heart and belly area: Am I okay?

For a long time, years and years actually, I didn’t feel okay. The question of “am I okay” always somehow, brought me to the matter of home. And since I didn’t feel at home inside myself, no matter who I was with, no matter where in the world I was, I didn’t really feel comfortable or like I belonged much of anywhere. 

I’ve come a long way and there’s a reason these questions –what’s it like being you? OR are you okay?– mean the world to me.

Around big holidays, my long-time companion “Homesick” often makes himself known inside me. It used to be I kicked him out (or rather, tried to). It used to be I thought that his presence was very bad news. It used to be that I thought that one day, when everything was better and I was with the perfect person and living in the perfect place that then I’d be rid of Homesick once and for all.

But it hasn’t turned out that way. Many things are much better than they used to be. And I am lucky enough to most of the time adore the person I’m quarantining with. But Homesick has not gone away. And, long story short(er), these days I set a place at the table of me for him (even when he feels like a herd of elephants!). Funny thing, the more I welcome Homesick, the more at home inside myself I feel. And the more at home inside myself I feel, the more I belong.

So what’s it like being you? Are you friends with you? Are you frenemies who have called a truce? What’s it like being you once all the ways you show up in the “outside” world aren’t necessary? Because at the end of the day, no matter who is or isn’t with you, no matter whether you share a bed with another creature (whether of the human or of the 4-legged variety) or not, you are the one and only person you are guaranteed to fall asleep and wake up with. 

What would today be like to set a place at the table of you for Homesick or your version of Homesick? I wonder what it’d be like to practice friendliness with you, all of you, however you are feeling today.

That is all, my dear. I wish you a beautiful day. I wish you a welcoming table. And I’d love to hear what it’s like being you.

Warmly,

Heidi

Special Invitations for Pandemic-times Self-Care:

Come practice, with guidance and quiet company, being friendly with yourself at The Pause: Body-Oriented Meditation. Use coupon code CupofCalm to try a class out on me (i.e., free!). Class will not meet on Thursday, 26 November, but we will be back at noon (Eastern time) on Friday! Come!

Missing therapeutic touch? On Wednesday, Dec. 2 I am offering a Therapeutic Self-Massage class that will focus on shoulder/neck tension. Use coupon code FBfriend to get 33% off the cost of the class. (Coupon expires on Friday, 27 Nov.)

The post Holiday in Quarantine: Setting a place at the table of you appeared first on Heidi's Table.