As I write this, I’m not sure that “settled” is quite the right word for what I did in Massachusetts. Nor for anything I did in my twenties, a pretty tumultuous and nothing-but-steady time for me. But at twenty years young, I drove myself to New England to transfer, sight-unseen and as a junior, to college. And then I stayed. (Thirty some years in the metro-area of one and the same state is a pretty long time for this creature who still, at fifty four years of age, can feel stumped by the question “Where are you from?”)

But I am moving, along with my husband and pup. We are moving out of state. To upstate New York, to be specific. A small town named Geneva, which on a map can be found right at the top of the middle finger lake. (Ha!) It’s a beautiful area even though a barkeep there told me their winters can be four to six weeks longer than Boston’s. (Yikes!)

It’s been quite a time, these last months. We are moving because my husband found himself a new and fantastic job, which we are both supremely happy about. Even though we are moving for his work, I too feel right about it, and that feeling of rightness relieves a huge amount of what could otherwise be anxiety when it comes to doing something as big as picking up and moving your life and your work after thirty some years in one and the same area.

That’s not to say, though, that every so often I am not hit with “oh-my-god-what-are-we-doing?!” kinds of thoughts… Case in point: yesterday morning when the weight of all factors that led up to the decision to move, plus all the heavy-lifting involved in making a move happen, not to mention the closing of a beloved massage therapy practice and the saying of goodbye to people who’ve been coming to lie down on my table for massage and body work for, some of them, going on near two decades… Well, yesterday morning, after my final visit with my dentist (of all people!), the tears came. Loud and terribly unsexy, scare-your-poor-dog kind of tears…

It was bound to happen, right? That’s what I’d think if I were my own nervous system coaching client. If I were my own dear client, I’d not freak out on account of tears. At all. Because tears pretty much always clear the way for something. Good honest tears can be incredibly helpful.

They were. When I realized how utterly exhausted I was… When I sensed how more than anything I wanted to FEEL taken care of so that I wouldn’t have to worry about anything… When I saw how important soothing and comfort, not the kind I try to get from sources that don’t deeply and straight-up replenish me (I’m talking to you, popcorn and ice cream and episode after episode of Top Chef!), I went outside to my little urban garden, the patch of dirt I have been nurturing and cultivating in our back yard for three years. And there I dug in a bag of soil to harvest a pile of sunchokes!

And there, hands in dirt, I found comfort. And was surprised by delight. Turns out comfort and delight and a sunchoke harvest were exactly what I needed: they made everything feel, somehow, all better.

—————–

Massage clients: To schedule a massage session before I move, please contact me for a link to my private massage booking page. I have a few openings left through the end of November, and I am limiting all remaining massage appointments to already-clients.

Want to know how nervous system coaching could help you? Please put yourself in my calendar for a free nervous system breakthrough session! (My coaching practice–mostly remote, via Zoom–is very much moving with me!)

The post Heidi’s moving! (And getting personal about stress, tears, and finding comfort.) appeared first on Heidi's Table.

I used to be anxious all the time.

In my 30’s, the person I was engaged to marry told me my anxiety was one of his biggest concerns about moving forward with me.

Even with really great self-awareness practices (some of which I love and practice to this day) and therapy, I could not stop being anxious.

When my massage therapy clients would tell me they wanted to “be calm like [me],” inside myself I felt like a fraud.

And I thought my anxiety was my fault.

A few years ago I learned about the Polyvagal Theory of the nervous system and a research-based auditory intervention to reset my nervous system.

I learned that my stress responses (in my case, anxious hyper-vigilance which I’d then try to soothe with food) were completely understandable and, actually, signs of a nervous system doing exactly what it was supposed to do: keep me safe!

I learned that when my body doesn’t feel safe and connected, it is impossible to fully take in the benefits of otherwise wonderful interventions like psychotherapy, like meditation, like Focusing…

I learned that there are ways to reset my nervous system for connection rather than for anxiety and shutdown.

These days I am in a friendly relationship with myself, which means that when anxiety arises (MUCH less often than it used to) I am able to turn toward it and practice being friendly and curious about how it might be trying to help me. (Because it is!) I often feel playful (not possible when my nervous system was constantly disregulated)… And most days I enjoy waking up to a new day.

If stress is keeping you from connecting with people who matter to you, and if you have a less-than-friendly and kind relationship with your self, I’d love to invite you to my FREE masterclass:

RELAXED U: BECAUSE WHEN YOU FEEL BETTER, YOU LOVE BETTER!
Date: Sunday, March 20, 2022
Time: 1 PM Eastern | 10 AM Pacific (GMT -5)

Grab your seat to:

• get immediate relief from stress, anxiety, overwhelm…
• feel present and connected to yourself and others
• learn 3 key steps to calming your nervous system
  (i.e., your cheat sheet for later, because yes: stress happens! )

I’m putting a stake in the ground for you and your nervous system to begin playing on the same awesome team!

Let’s turn your stress into relaxed connection…together. Register NOW!

xoHeidi

PS Have a friend you’d like to invite? Send them HERE (where you, and anyone you want to invite, need to register: https://heidistable.com/product/relaxedu2022/)

The post How I stopped being anxious all the time 🥺 (and became a friend to myself in the process 🤗) appeared first on Heidi's Table.

Chuang Tsu, a Chinese philosopher who lived some 2,000 years ago, makes it sound so easy.

But what if the bidding farewell of what’s leaving and the greeting of what comes weren’t so much a measure of our so-called “enlightenment” or “wokeness” as an observation about the state of our nervous system?

Curiosity is one of the first casualties of fear. When we’re scared—or any of its emotional variations: worried, anxious, obsessive, ruminating…—it’s hard to be curious! That’s because our nervous system is doing the very understandable—if uncomfortable—job of keeping our bodies on high alert (or shutting down) in reaction to real or imagined danger.

The good news is that curiosity can be cultivated.

The other good news is that self-friendliness (researchers call it self-compassion) can be a practice.

The other, other good news is that your nervous system can change!

Would you like to join me tomorrow—New Year’s Day 2022—for a special edition of ReadySetPAUSE? An extra friendly body-oriented meditation class in which I guide you in cultivating friendliness and saying hello to what comes?

If you have any interest in beginning 2022 with care, comfort, and connection, then I can’t wait to see you there! Registration is open and available until 10:30 AM Eastern (class starts at 12 PM Eastern) on January 1.

See you in 2022!

xoHeidi

The post Happy New Year’s Eve and a special (time-sensitive!) invitation appeared first on Heidi's Table.

It’s hard to say whether what I missed most during our fifteen months of COVID-related physical distancing was getting or giving therapeutic massages. Okay, my body says it was getting, but my heart… hold on, let me check… my heart is saying: it’s a tie. (Don’t make me choose! )

GOOD NEWS, my dear, patient (and impatient!) massage clients: I have re-opened my massage therapy practice to fully-vaccinated clients. Here in Massachusetts, COVID-19 transmission rates are low and vaccination rates are good, and with lifted restrictions and full reopening of the state for business on May 29, I am confident enough to be able to work with my clients again in person.

Things are, however, a bit different than pre-pandemic. If you want to schedule a massage, here are some things I’d like you to know before you book your appointment.

Here’s to seeing you on my table again soon! (And yes, I HAVE gotten a massage myself, and will be again this weekend. Can’t wait!)

xoHeidi

P.S. If you aren’t local to the Boston-area in the United States, or aren’t fully vaccinated, or massage therapy isn’t your thing, there are other ways—including classes, programs, and remote sessions—to work with me. Learn more.

The post Open again for massage! appeared first on Heidi's Table.

Tense times have a way of tensing up our dear necks and shoulders, have you noticed? Which is why I’m offering a Therapeutic Self-Massage class (via Zoom), with special emphasis on relieving tension in your neck, shoulders and head.

When? Monday, January 18 at 2 PM Eastern / 11 AM Pacific (Find your local time)

If relief sounds good, why not sign up NOW. (Use coupon code “twentyfive” to take 25% off the class fee. (The coupon is valid only through Friday, Jan. 15. You can still sign up for class after that, but “twentyfive” is only valid through Friday.)

You’d like to participate but can’t make the specific class time?

Even though I definitely prefer to see your gorgeous self in class live, you do NOT have to show up live unless you can and would like to. I will send a link of the class recording to all registered participants within 5 days of the class. So if you’re thinking OMG I need that class, but can’t make it on Monday, that’s cool. Sign up anyway, and then–I recommend–make a special date with yourself to watch it in the coziness of your favorite special place.

Here’s the coupon code again: “twentyfive“. (And HERE’s where to register for class).

What’s that? You’d like to help Heidi fill up her class by inviting your friends? Muah! I adore you! (Please share this post as you please.)

I hope you’ll join me on Monday! (Your body and I thank you.)

xoHeidi

The post Don’t miss this: Relief for your neck/shoulders/head appeared first on Heidi's Table.

An easy self-care practice

When things feel hard and your sense of security is shaky, it can be helpful to notice supportive, easy, pleasant things you get to take for granted. It’s a practice I’ve found comforting and steadying when things feel wobbly, scary or overwhelming… Also, it’s easy! (Requires no appointment or special equipment.)

Here are a few things from my get-to-take-for-granted list:

1. The ground. When I wake up in the morning I don’t have to wonder, is the ground going to be there to meet my feet when I get out of bed? No. I get to take it for granted. In moments of unsteadiness or nervous system activation, I can always come back to noticing the ground. (And I swear, sometimes I think it’s saying to me: “Lean back, Heidi, I’ve got you.”
2. Darkness. I love getting to take for granted the darkness at night, especially as I am falling asleep. How kind of our Earth to draw the blinds on light so we can shut off our attention and rest.
3. The sun rising and setting. I notice the length of days getting a little longer again. And that springtime is up ahead. And with it seeds and seedlings and vegetables, and my hands digging in dirt.
4. My Yorkshire Gold cup of tea in the morning. My sweetie gets up before me and has my cup of tea ready when I get up. He has been doing this for so long now that I get to take it for granted. I like noticing that. And I feel lucky.
5. My thrifted Cashmere sweaters. Whenever I put on a Cashmere sweater—no matter what I may be wearing from waist down—I feel luxurious and comforted. Once upon a time, Cashmere was a one-time thing. Then it was once-in-a-while. And one day I said to myself, whyever isn’t this an everyday thing? And then it was. I love thrifting—which I can do online—which makes getting to take Cashmere for granted every day completely affordable. Cashmere as self-care!
6. My 9:15 AM Saturday yoga classes with Jenna Hussey via Zoom. Jenna is AWESOME. Every week she sends out an email with the Zoom link for the following class. (Thanks, Jenna. I get to take your class for granted!) Her class is by donation. And did I mention she is awesome? (If you want to get the link to Jenna’s next class, just email her and ask. Tell her I sent you.)

Noticing what I get to take for granted doesn’t mean I deny the fact that there are things I don’t get to take for granted. These days I miss receiving hands-on professional massage. (Sometimes my sweetie tries but it’s not the same, if you know what I mean.) Yeah, I miss massages. I also miss touching my clients therapeutically, and the entire hands-on aspect of Heidi’s Table (which is still on hold). I also miss going to a restaurant and having food brought to my table. And unmasked strangers.

And you? What do you get to take for granted these days? And what do you miss? Please tell, I’d love to know. Pop me an email or better yet, add a comment to this post so that others can see as well.

Stock your wellness pantry!

I’d like to offer you 25% off the cost of any classes I am offering via Zoom including The Pause, a body-oriented meditation class (meets four times a week, drop-in, no experience necessary) and my upcoming Therapeutic Self-Massage Class on Monday, January 18. To receive this special rate, please enter coupon code “twentyfive” on the checkout page of your purchase. The coupon is valid through Friday, January 15. Come fill your “wellness pantry” up with some some self-care goodies from Heidi’s Table.

Warmly (in Cashmere, naturally),

xoHeidi

The post Difficult times call for easy self-care! Stock your wellness pantry with self-care goodies appeared first on Heidi's Table.

What’s it like being you today? I wonder if it feels different these days than, say, a year ago today. Here in the States, tomorrow is a big holiday, one in which many people often travel long ways to be with family, whether family by birth, by circumstance, or by choice. And this year, whatever their family situation usually may be, many people are –by circumstance– staying put.

So here we are at home. Our very own now-home whatever and wherever that may be. This year you may not be traveling to be at the home you grew up in. You may not be sitting at a table with the people you consider to be family. Or friends. In fact, you may be sitting at a table just with yourself. Or with the person you’ve been sharing space with, pretty much exclusively, for months and months now.

Are you okay? 

Hear me again as I write it out more slowly: Are you okay? 

If you aren’t sure how to answer that, try this: What happens when you pause for a moment, take a deep breath, and then hear those words somewhere in your middle—think chest, heart and belly area: Am I okay?

For a long time, years and years actually, I didn’t feel okay. The question of “am I okay” always somehow, brought me to the matter of home. And since I didn’t feel at home inside myself, no matter who I was with, no matter where in the world I was, I didn’t really feel comfortable or like I belonged much of anywhere. 

I’ve come a long way and there’s a reason these questions –what’s it like being you? OR are you okay?– mean the world to me.

Around big holidays, my long-time companion “Homesick” often makes himself known inside me. It used to be I kicked him out (or rather, tried to). It used to be I thought that his presence was very bad news. It used to be that I thought that one day, when everything was better and I was with the perfect person and living in the perfect place that then I’d be rid of Homesick once and for all.

But it hasn’t turned out that way. Many things are much better than they used to be. And I am lucky enough to most of the time adore the person I’m quarantining with. But Homesick has not gone away. And, long story short(er), these days I set a place at the table of me for him (even when he feels like a herd of elephants!). Funny thing, the more I welcome Homesick, the more at home inside myself I feel. And the more at home inside myself I feel, the more I belong.

So what’s it like being you? Are you friends with you? Are you frenemies who have called a truce? What’s it like being you once all the ways you show up in the “outside” world aren’t necessary? Because at the end of the day, no matter who is or isn’t with you, no matter whether you share a bed with another creature (whether of the human or of the 4-legged variety) or not, you are the one and only person you are guaranteed to fall asleep and wake up with. 

What would today be like to set a place at the table of you for Homesick or your version of Homesick? I wonder what it’d be like to practice friendliness with you, all of you, however you are feeling today.

That is all, my dear. I wish you a beautiful day. I wish you a welcoming table. And I’d love to hear what it’s like being you.

Warmly,

Heidi

Special Invitations for Pandemic-times Self-Care:

Come practice, with guidance and quiet company, being friendly with yourself at The Pause: Body-Oriented Meditation. Use coupon code CupofCalm to try a class out on me (i.e., free!). Class will not meet on Thursday, 26 November, but we will be back at noon (Eastern time) on Friday! Come!

Missing therapeutic touch? On Wednesday, Dec. 2 I am offering a Therapeutic Self-Massage class that will focus on shoulder/neck tension. Use coupon code FBfriend to get 33% off the cost of the class. (Coupon expires on Friday, 27 Nov.)

The post Holiday in Quarantine: Setting a place at the table of you appeared first on Heidi's Table.

I understand. And don’t feel bad. Many people are. In everyday language you probably refer to it as “being stressed out.”

If you’d like help not feeling at the mercy of a nervous system run amok, read on. I’m going to start real basic, okay? No advanced techniques here, I promise. And best of all? You have everything you need, right where you are, to do this.

The Pause and Notice

Here’s the how: Stop for even just a moment. One of the easiest ways to pause is to notice your breathing. (Personally, I like to close my eyes when I do this.) Go ahead. I’ll wait! (This kitty will save your spot so you know exactly where to come back to.)

Often, just noticing our breathing will allow it to change into something more comfortable and easy for us. (Mmm, ease…)

Notice how I said “allow it” rather than “make it”? Noticing allows it to change. We’re not making anything happen. Whew! No forcing, no cajoling. How kind and respectful of ourselves.

Want to try The Pause and Notice again? Go ahead. I’ll wait. (This kitten will save your spot this time).

There’s nothing fancy about breathing. Our bodies and the air know exactly what to do with each other: the air, so generous, so right here, and your body, so ready, always, to receive that next breath… And just by noticing we get to piggyback onto something that most of the time, if not always, we already get to take for granted.

The poet Rilke said (in his poem Let This Darkness Be a Bell Tower):

…feel how your breathing makes more space around you

I know what he means. (And my hunch is that poets, as a demographic, have highly sensitive nervous systems. I think he knew of what he spoke!)

That’s all for today. I’ll have more Care for Nervous Systems soon. For now, why not give The Pause and Notice a whirl.

I’m right here, breathing with you, making space around us, until next time–

xo
Heidi

P.S. Have you been to Heidi’s Body-Oriented Meditation Classes? The Pause is a great place to receive gentle guidance, support and company while you practice pausing and noticing. First cup of calm is on me. (Coupon code: Cupofcalm) Cheers! You are so welcome.

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