Also? It’s on me! You can register to attend for free by using coupon code “free!” at checkout. (You will still need to register and complete “checkout” in order to receive the link to join my class.)

Mwah! I’d LOVE to see you there! (Why not take care of your day-after-Thanksgiving-self right now and HERE).

xoHeidi

P.S. Why yes! I’d love it if you shared this post or a link to the class with your friends in a speedy text message, a post in your social media feed, or via a good ol’ fashioned e-mail. Thank you! https://heidistable.com/product/ready-set-pause/ Feel “free!” to share the coupon code as well, of course.

The post This Friday: Ready, Set, PAUSE! appeared first on Heidi's Table.

What’s it like being you today? I wonder if it feels different these days than, say, a year ago today. Here in the States, tomorrow is a big holiday, one in which many people often travel long ways to be with family, whether family by birth, by circumstance, or by choice. And this year, whatever their family situation usually may be, many people are –by circumstance– staying put.

So here we are at home. Our very own now-home whatever and wherever that may be. This year you may not be traveling to be at the home you grew up in. You may not be sitting at a table with the people you consider to be family. Or friends. In fact, you may be sitting at a table just with yourself. Or with the person you’ve been sharing space with, pretty much exclusively, for months and months now.

Are you okay? 

Hear me again as I write it out more slowly: Are you okay? 

If you aren’t sure how to answer that, try this: What happens when you pause for a moment, take a deep breath, and then hear those words somewhere in your middle—think chest, heart and belly area: Am I okay?

For a long time, years and years actually, I didn’t feel okay. The question of “am I okay” always somehow, brought me to the matter of home. And since I didn’t feel at home inside myself, no matter who I was with, no matter where in the world I was, I didn’t really feel comfortable or like I belonged much of anywhere. 

I’ve come a long way and there’s a reason these questions –what’s it like being you? OR are you okay?– mean the world to me.

Around big holidays, my long-time companion “Homesick” often makes himself known inside me. It used to be I kicked him out (or rather, tried to). It used to be I thought that his presence was very bad news. It used to be that I thought that one day, when everything was better and I was with the perfect person and living in the perfect place that then I’d be rid of Homesick once and for all.

But it hasn’t turned out that way. Many things are much better than they used to be. And I am lucky enough to most of the time adore the person I’m quarantining with. But Homesick has not gone away. And, long story short(er), these days I set a place at the table of me for him (even when he feels like a herd of elephants!). Funny thing, the more I welcome Homesick, the more at home inside myself I feel. And the more at home inside myself I feel, the more I belong.

So what’s it like being you? Are you friends with you? Are you frenemies who have called a truce? What’s it like being you once all the ways you show up in the “outside” world aren’t necessary? Because at the end of the day, no matter who is or isn’t with you, no matter whether you share a bed with another creature (whether of the human or of the 4-legged variety) or not, you are the one and only person you are guaranteed to fall asleep and wake up with. 

What would today be like to set a place at the table of you for Homesick or your version of Homesick? I wonder what it’d be like to practice friendliness with you, all of you, however you are feeling today.

That is all, my dear. I wish you a beautiful day. I wish you a welcoming table. And I’d love to hear what it’s like being you.

Warmly,

Heidi

Special Invitations for Pandemic-times Self-Care:

Come practice, with guidance and quiet company, being friendly with yourself at The Pause: Body-Oriented Meditation. Use coupon code CupofCalm to try a class out on me (i.e., free!). Class will not meet on Thursday, 26 November, but we will be back at noon (Eastern time) on Friday! Come!

Missing therapeutic touch? On Wednesday, Dec. 2 I am offering a Therapeutic Self-Massage class that will focus on shoulder/neck tension. Use coupon code FBfriend to get 33% off the cost of the class. (Coupon expires on Friday, 27 Nov.)

The post Holiday in Quarantine: Setting a place at the table of you appeared first on Heidi's Table.

Also upcoming: Therapeutic Self-Massage Class on Wednesday, 22 April 2020 at 7 PM. If you’re missing seeing me (or your massage therapist) in person, or are feeling a lot of tension and having a hard time relaxing, I hope you’ll register. (The class will be recorded — everyone registered will be sent a recording within a week of the class.)

The post Time Sensitive: This Saturday (18 April) 1 – 3 PM EDT (10 – 12 PDT) appeared first on Heidi's Table.

On March 18 I closed my office for in-person therapeutic massage work. (This is temporary, my part in minimizing the spread of COVID-19). It’s been an adjustment! (I miss you.) I, like probably you, am physically/socially distancing and going through quite the range of emotions: fear, sadness, lonesomeness, anxiety, anger, contentment (in my garden), joy (the buds. on the trees. have you noticed?), scared again…

Yesterday, when I sat quietly and tuned inward, I sensed a heaviness in my chest area. When I turned toward it in a friendly and wondering kind of way, it seemed like a stone: big, though not as big as a boulder. And smooth, like a river stone whose roughness has been polished by constant water. I wondered: why not just get rid of the stone, wouldn’t that feel good? I was surprised to sense, from my body, that no: not only didn’t the stone want to leave, but my heart and chest area actually liked having it there. I sensed then that this big river stone was somehow related to my massage work and specifically my touch and contact with my clients’ bodies, and to missing that, suddenly quite intensely. I sat there quietly for a few minutes, trusting the process, no matter how odd or strange what appears might seem.

Trusting the process. It wasn’t always like that for me. Practicing has certainly helped. I’ve learned that my body knows so much more than I think it knows. And having practiced now for many, many years, I have built up some pretty darn good awareness “muscles.”

These are challenging times. I haven’t been to a food market in over a week. (For someone who loves to browse the aisles not in malls but in food and farmers markets, that is something.) I haven’t been—

What about you? I imagine that you are washing your hands a whole lot, physically distancing and staying home. Your list of “I haven’ts” might be long, like mine.

But there is also something I HAVE done, something new which I am hoping you might—now that you know about it!—do with me.

Every day at 12 PM Eastern time (9 AM Pacific) I am leading a COVID-safe, drop-in, virtual class: “At Home in Your Body: Focusing-Oriented Meditation.” It’s only 30-45 minutes long. You can come every day, you can come once a week, or just once in a while. No long-term commitment is needed. And I’d LOVE you to join.

The cost of the class is $10. (Though right now it’s on sale for $5, in anticipation of you reading about it and wanting to try it out—you’re very welcome!) I understand, too, that these are financially trying and wobbly times and that some of us have lost our income from one day to the next, so if the cost of the class would keep you from participating (or participating as often as you’d like), PLEASE drop me a line and I will send you the access link so that you can join regardless of how much you can or can’t pay.

Tuning in and turning toward ourselves with friendliness. That’s what I and anyone who joins me in class are learning and practicing doing every day.

You know the big river stone on my heart yesterday? When I sensed how it wanted me to be with it, it showed me it wanted me to oil up my hands and rub it. Yeah. That felt right. I didn’t have to figure it out, change it, or make it go away. And while it didn’t replace me getting to work with my clients and their bodies in my office, much relief came to me from noticing the whole of how it was in a friendly way.

I’m sorry about what our dear human species is experiencing these days. I’m sorry for our dear planet and how thoughtless and mean our species has been to it. I’m so sorry about the loss and death so many people around the world are experiencing. I feel sad and scared and angry all at once.

Connection sure feels good, even if it’s in a different way than we’ve ever connected before. Maybe I’ll see you in class!

Warmly,

Heidi

P.S. Please forward widely. (Thank you! I really appreciate your help.) What if everyone in the world came out of this extraordinarily difficult experience friendlier toward themselves and each other?

Learn more/Register for “At Home in Your Body: Focusing-Oriented Meditation“

The post You are warmly invited! “At Home in Your Body: Focusing-Oriented Meditation” Classes (COVID-safe, virtual, drop-in) appeared first on Heidi's Table.

I love that they said that and it made total sense. But it also left me thinking about where the average adult—at least here in the Northeastern parts of the United States—gets theirs… It’s my impression that most people are rather low on steady and reliable sources for oxytocin.

What is it, anyway?

Oxytocin is the bonding, compassion/empathy and trust hormone. It’s released by the pituitary gland. (It is naturally higher than average in pregnant women and new moms.) Oxytocin is known for modulating fear and anxiety. It can have anti-depressant-like effects and has been shown to increase empathy and trust. It is also thought to modulate inflammation and help in wound-healing. Whoa. That’s quite a list, isn’t it?!

Where do you get yours?

Oxytocin-deprivation

I once had a client who began to cry after I finished my therapeutic massage work on their face. (It’s not an unusual thing for me to touch and work on people’s faces, if OK with them. A lot of tension can be held in the jaw, cheeks, temples, behind eyes.) I checked in with them and they told me that they were OK, just feeling moved. After the session they told me it’d been years since anyone had touched their face. I’d guess that this person statistically represents many people.

So how can we up our Oxytocin levels in our here and now lives?

Oxytocin-boosting

I found a lovely list of suggestions for upping Oxytocin in an article by Paul Zak in Psychology Today. (Zak is a researcher in the neuroscience of human connection).

Here are a few of my favorites from Zak’s list::

Speaking of the “L” word and speaking of touch, as a massage therapist I love doing my part in upping oxytocin levels in the world. Maybe it’s a little bit of mothering I can offer without actually being a mother myself. (And that, right there, is an oxytocin-boosting thought for me.)

Now, go hug your pet. Or your partner. Or your kid. Or… And feel free to add a comment with any of your own feel-good, comfort-building, oxytocin-boosting favorites. I’d love to hear!

The post Oxytocin: your anti-depressant, anxiety-modulating, wound-healing hormone appeared first on Heidi's Table.

Are you allowing the ground hold you, or are you holding back?

The ground is there for us. We get to take it for granted! But when we are feeling tense or tight or stressed in some way, it’s likely we are holding back from letting ourselves be supported.

Rather than trying to make yourself relax or getting down on yourself for having a hard time relaxing, bring your noticing to the support of the ground under you. There it is. (Good to notice!) And then, ask yourself gently, in a wondering kind of way:

Am I letting the ground hold me, or am I holding back?

Think of the difference between carrying a sleeping toddler and carrying a tantruming toddler. One is allowing you to carry them (even if they don’t know it! and one is not. As you probably figured: sleeping toddler = ease; tantruming toddler = pain in the butt! tension.

Right here, right now do you feel ease or tension? Are you letting the ground hold you, or are you holding back?

Maybe your tension isn’t so much like a tantruming toddler. Maybe it’s more like you’re trying to help the ground carry you. (As if!) But tension or no tension, the ground holds you, no questions asked. It doesn’t ask for your trust but it’s good to notice if, in essence, you are holding yourself as if you didn’t trust it. Can you let it do what it’s already doing so well?

Maybe you notice that mostly you feel relaxed. Great! Oh wait, except for something that feels like a knot in your shoulder and a kind of buzzy busy-ness going down your arm even though you’re doing exactly nothing right now.

Good to notice.

Let the sense of tension, discomfort or tightness be your cue to pause and to ask yourself… You guessed it:

Am I letting the ground hold me, or am I holding back?

And then, again, bring your noticing to the support of the ground under you, whether that be the floor, the bed you are lying in, or the chair you’re sitting on. Notice just how supported you are. (Thanks, ground!)

Are you letting it hold you or are you holding back?

On your next exhale –which just so happens to be one of a number of ways in which your body is already regularly and automatically releasing what is not needed– notice your body’s contact with the support and see if there is any softening that’s ready to happen. Can you let it?

You’re not making it happen. (That would be forcing). You’re simply showing up, noticing, and getting out of the way of its happening if and when it is ready.

Noticing (some people call it awareness): what a simple way of getting out of our own way and allowing what is next and best to happen.

I call that effortless change. Because relaxing should never be forced.

In summary, when you notice yourself tight/tense/stressed/uncomfortable:

1. Wonder, gently ask yourself: Am I allowing the ground (or chair, bed, etc.) to hold me, or am I holding back?
2. Notice the support under you, especially under/behind the place(s) where you sense a holding back.
3. On your next exhale, see if there is any softening (letting go, relaxing) available to you just for having shown up and noticed.

Go gently, go kindly, go curiously.

I can’t wait to hear how it goes for you!

The post One little thing that can make the difference between being tense and relaxing appeared first on Heidi's Table.