Excuse me, could I please speak with the person in charge here?
Um, that would be you, dear.
Oh my, so it is!
So, what’s on your mind?
Here’s the thing: When I signed myself on for A Month of Living Curiously and picked Mary Oliver’s poem “The Uses of Sorrow” I had no idea how big and scary my box full of darkness could be!
What did you think, Sweetheart, that you’d be parroting affirmations to the courageous and curious people that signed up with you?
Noooo. But I didn’t have in mind how scary and in my face my dark stuff would be. It has practically paralyzed me a bunch of times this past weekend, in case you couldn’t tell.
[Shakes her head, laughing]
Um, excuse me! This is the part where you are supposed to make soothing “there, there” cooing sounds.
Um, excuse me very much, did you miss that day at Being Your Wiser Self School?
I’m sorry but you know I can’t fake it. If there’s laughter, there’s laughter. What can I say. Besides, if I recall—and I do have a very good memory for these things, you know—it just so happens that the day 1 lesson 1 of “Being Your Wiser Self School” was: “Never, ever, fake it. Say it like it is.” And right there, just then, the most honest expression that came was laughter. Would you have me hold it back? You of all people know the kind of havoc holding back emotion, stifling honest expression—or even worse, faking it!—can wreak on a person’s body—
Yeah, I suppose.
C’mon, you have to admit how good it feels to laugh. You might try it.
Yeah, I ain’t feeling it right now, so just let me pout, would you? That’s me not faking it.
[A few minutes pass]
So what’s on your mind, Sweet Pea? I’d love to hear you. I’m right here.
I’ve been scared shitless in case you couldn’t tell.
Right now you are?
No, actually. Not right now. But I’m just remembering how scared I was this past weekend.
Yes, good to notice it was then.
Yes, but it scares me when I remember it and I know it will probably come back. It always does.
Who knows. Maybe. Maybe not. Did you do your best? Did you meet it with understanding?
Yes, as best I could.
I’m proud of you, Sweetheart. You always do your best.
Yes, I suppose I do. You think I’m doing OK?
Oh my god you are doing sooooo OK! Amazingly OK, you.
You think I’ll be OK?
Of course you will! You’ve got me, babe! And I might have missed a day or two at Being your Wiser Self School but I can tell you the lessons on those days were lame, at best, and I was learning more playing hooky. Plus, my friends let me copy their notes and I can assure you, I got it all. So, yes, good you have me, good indeed! And remember: you’ve got Luna. Plus all your curious peeps looking forward to hearing from you.
Hey! Speaking of Luna: what was with that cat that bit me on my hand in my dream the other night? Ow! That pretty much killed!
Oh. My. God. Yes! It was intense! I hadn’t even done anything to that cat and she just jumped up and bit my left hand in that fleshy triangle part where the thumb and index finger meet, the part that feels so good to have worked on by your massage therapist…
Yeah, right there where it feels so good to have pressure, she bit you. That’s curious. She could have bit you anywhere else but she bit you there.
Yes, I get that.
If she wanted my attention why didn’t she just tap me or nuzzle up on my leg like a polite cat, hunh? Why not? She freaking bit me and those were some sharp fangs she had going on!
Hmmmmm. Curious, isn’t it. Something might come to us about that today.
Yeah, that one’s puzzling me.
Hey, and you all have that Dreams Call coming up with Barbara McGavin next Saturday, right?
Yes, I’m sure Barbara will have some interesting things to say about the puzzling things that transpire in our dreams.
Yes, great! I’m excited for that… Hey Heidi, have you told people how to sign up for that?
There’ll be a link below this post, where people can sign up for my mailing list. They should be sure to check off the box for the Dream Call on Saturday, March 28. (Even if they’re already on my mailing list, this link will take them to where they can add this group to their interests!)
Good. It’s at 3:30 pm eastern, right?
Yeah, that’s right. And people can find what time that is for them where they are around the world at this link here…
Can anyone be on the call?
Yes, but they have to sign up. There’s a document I’ll be sending out to everyone that’s signed up. And they’ll also have access to the recording then, in case they can’t make it or just want to listen again.
Good. Alright, Sweet Pea. You’re doing great. I’m really pretty lucky to have gotten paired up with you, you know?
Yeah. I could have gotten someone that didn’t give a rat’s behind about curiosity! How boring would that be! You ain’t so bad at all, Heidi, not so bad at all.
Hey, before you go: does everybody have a you? Like, does the person reading this here post have a you too?
Yeah, a wise self?
Yeah, although some people might not know it. But I’m pretty sure all your curious peeps know it. Matter of fact, they may be getting curious about their own Wise Self right about now.
I hope their wiser selfs aren’t as irreverent as you are!
Me? Irreverent? Hey, I make you laugh. Let’s not get thankless about that. Minor point.
(This post is March 16th’s missive for A Month of Living Curiously — but even if you missed signing up for the month, you can be on Saturday’s call (March 28, 3:30 pm eastern). Now don’t go missing that too!)