[You may recall back in February when a secret agent chicken saved me from crossing over from a regular into a full throttled meltdown. Yes? Well, yesterday another chicken, this time a pirate chicken, came to my aid... Here, I'll let you eavesdrop on our conversation... ]

HeidiHi!

Um, hi… you’re a chicken. With a pirate cap and an eyepatch. Um–

What! You asked for help, didn’t you?

Yes. But–

What’s wrong, sweetpea? You look terribly distraught.

Aside from thinking I’ve now gone a bit crazy what with you standing in front of me? Yes I’m distraught. I can’t write!

You can’t write?

I mean, I can, but just not about this thing I reeeally need to write about. I keep trying and thinking about it and there all these notes in my notebook about it, but when I go to write, I do one of a million other things instead. I’ve had 5 cups of tea this morning, chicken. Five! And it’s only 10.

Wow.

I just don’t know how to start.

How about you tell me about what you want to write. Maybe I’ll ask you questions, maybe not, but I want to hear… How about it!

OK.

And then maybe you can start writing it on me.

On you?

Yep. On me.

Like, on your chicken body?

Eggzactly.

Sounds like how my mom used to trick me into giving her a backrub by suggesting I spell things on her back and she’d guess what I’d written?

Maybe, ‘cept that I’m helping you, remember?

[I raise a suspicious brow]

OK OK it’s true that my left wing could use a little massagin’ ’cause steerin’ a chicken ship full o’ loot, well, it can take a toll on a chicken’s wings, you know? But how I see it we could both benefit from each other here, so how about you start moving that little finger of yours, and we’ll see what happens.

[I shrug, look around to see if anyone is looking, and then start to write on the pirate chicken]

So Heidi, tell me about this thing that you keep not writing about—

It’s about the quality that makes our newest potion so magical…

Ooooh! Potion! How exciting.

I know. It is. I mean, it would be, if I could just get this page written already so that our people will know what it’s all about!

So tell me about this magical quality… whatever is it!

Oh it’s just about the most magical thing ever. It is a way of being with yourself and in the world that allows you and the world to change in an organic, unforced way.

What’s wrong with forcing change?

Nothing wrong in and of itself with force as an energy when that is the natural way of something. But when there is a kind of pushing or pulling on something ahead of its time, before it’s ready? Well, then things can become muddied and tangled up, and then, even if on the surface the thing goes and changes (or appears to), it usually comes with a price because there were all these other factors that weren’t ready, parts of us or people that were not on board… maybe they were dragged along… Oftentimes, then, the change doesn’t really stick because those other forces were not accounted for…

Sounds like what plays out in our world politically.

Yep. Same. Usually the party or country or race or gender or part of us with the most power wins… Thing is, even if by all accounts the change that is forced is a “good” one, it will often backfire… Many times, then, there is some sort of violence that comes about because what was pushed away comes to the surface. Just because we shut something up doesn’t mean it went away, after all. Like all the wars that start seemingly out of the blue, until you look back and notice all the people that were exiled and the voices that were stifled…

Oh, Heidi, I know about something like this from my very own chicken life! I remember all those years when my momma told me just to keep laying eggs, saying that THAT is what chickens were meant to do blah blah blah… I tried, I really tried… And I kept pushing on myself to be an egg-laying chicken, telling myself I should… but I didn’t like it one bit. And then I thought surely something was wrong with me that I couldn’t be happy just layin’ eggs and so I made myself try to be happy laying eggs. Well, eventually I got sick and my feathers started falling out and the few that I had left were very lackluster… oh my but I sure was a sad chicken. “Depressed” is what I think you human birds call it.

I can hardly imagine you as lackluster. Just look at your feathers now… just you look at these golden & coral highlights here! Say, who’s your stylist?

Darlin’, them’s my natural hues!

No way! Surely thou jesteth.

I jesteth not! Cross my wings.

Wow. Just lovely. Mind if I snap a picture?

Yes actually. I’m rather shy ’round cameras.

You? Shy?

<shrugs>

OK… So what happened then? How did you get from the coop to the high seas? I mean, that’s quite a ways to go!

One night I tried to fly away. But flying turned out to be wishful thinking for a chicken with hardly a feather on his wings. You ever try flying without feathers?

Uh, can’t say I have. Actually, can’t say I’ve really ever seen a chicken flying, either.

Oh Baby, hang out with me some more. Just you wait ‘n’ see. But, back to my story… I knew if I stayed, I’d die. I had to get out. No matter how I did it, I had to. It wasn’t about forcing anything, it was just what had to happen. It wasn’t even a decision I made, come to think, I just knew.

So how’d you do it?

Well, I’d been noticing the farm dog digging at a spot by the fence and the farmer hadn’t had a chance to fix it. It would be a tight squeeze, for sure, but like I said, this was life or death. It was all I could do to crawl under the fence and hobble myself to the forest, but somehow I did, and there I holed up in an abandoned nest near a stream for a few days before heading on a journey the destination of which I wasn’t even sure. All I knew for sure was that the chicken coop was no place for me… Verylongstoryshort, now here I am a Pirate Chicken, JohnnyDepping it up on the high seas.

Oh Chicken, that’s quite a story. If Oprah still had a show, surely she’d invite you on as guest chicken. Maybe even with Johnny Badass Depp’s Captain Sparrow!

<blushes>

Your story is reminding me about a very important aspect in this thing I’m having a hard time writing about…

What’s that, Heidi?

A sure indication that one is trying to force oneself or someone else into change, is that it is accompanied by a boatload of shoulds… “You should be like this, or else!” What I’ve noticed is that the part of us that is shoulding is usually scared or concerned about something. I can tell because when I’m embodying this quality that I’m trying to write about, then I can listen openly and curiously to even the most difficult things inside me without pushing or pulling… The shoulding part often says things like: “If you don’t ___, then ___ [insert terrible or unwanted thing] will happen. You better or else!”

Heidi, could you move over and write just a little bit to the left there… keep going… ahhhhhh yes, right there. Oh I’ve had a knot there for a week!… Oh yeah…. So what you’re saying is that being with yourself in this way you are trying to write about is what allows change to come in its time, in an unforced and natural way?

Yes! This way of being allows change to happen when is best, when everything is ready. Allows! I love that word. This quality is about allowing. Change that comes about in this manner usually starts happening way before it becomes obvious on the surface…

Like in Egypt earlier this year?

Yes, like in Egypt!

Like when I left the coop?

Yes, like that.

But you know, Heidi, I kind of already knew I should leave way before I actually left.

Ah, yes. But, for whatever reason, you weren’t ready, because you didn’t… not yet. Notice how there was still a “should” in how you were talking to yourself: “I should leave,” which implies that not all of you was on board. And when you were ready, you did. Not a minute before.

Interesting…

This quality I want to write about is so helpful during those stages when things are shifting below the surface… It can be a very hard time filled with confusion and fear and pressure… What I want to write about helps us be with all these conflicting parts of ourselves… I’m sure the part of you that wasn’t ready to leave could probably have used some understanding!

Oh Heidi, I’m going to cry just remembering.

That was hard a hard time, wasn’t it?

Oh you have no idea. All those years in the coop trying to lay eggs, surrounded by all these chickens who loved nothing more than laying eggs? And they were my friends too. I loved them. Still do. I didn’t fly the coop much sooner because I was scared. I thought they wouldn’t love me if I wasn’t an egg-laying chicken like them. I thought I’d lose my family and be alone in all the world if I did what I needed to do. But you know what? If I hadn’t been able to leave and live the way I love, I can’t say I wouldn’t have taken to desperate measures within the coop. As it was I was mean and grumpypants for a long time.

Yes, when things are forced to be a way that is not really of their nature, then other parts have to go into hiding… Maybe we pretend those dissenting voice aren’t there, but they are. They come out sideways. They come out to bite us in the ass when we least expect it. Or they wake us up at 3 in the morning. Eventually, if shunned or vilified too long, they amp up the volume. Sometimes they get violent.

Sounds like terrorism.

Yep…. Oh Chicken, you have quite a story! Who knew!

Now that you say it, and now that I’m remembering all this, yes. So tell me, this quality you want to write about, well, it is, I mean, it could potentially, um, change everything!

Oh the irony, yes! This quality, which is all about being with something exactly the way it is, without trying to make it change, can change everything! It has helped me more than I can say. Which is what I’m trying to say here. It’s amazing.

I want to know more. Please can you tell me everything? Pleeeease?

I will, I promise. But my writing block just lifted and I must go write that potion page about this quality.

Right now?

Yesssss! When you have to go you have to go!

But what’s the quality called?

Well you’ll just come have to read it when I’m done, won’t you? Thanks Chicken!